Finding Peace in Surrender
(The Hanged Man card is from Lightseers Tarot)
The year 2020 just keeps getting even more glorious.
Covid to start, then 3 of our fur babies passed this year from skin cancer, kidney failure, and lymphoma.
And last week, my father fell and broke his wrist and pelvis. So my Thanksgiving will include a trip to Miami, ongoing gratitude that my father’s fall wasn’t worse (because it always can be), and the quirks of navigating hospitals and rehab centers during Covid.
This year has been filled with a lot of loss in so many ways, and I have to thank my relationship with Spirit and myself, my Tarot cards, and my overall Buddhist-like values around suffering and surrendering to help me through.
It’s not a surprise that the Hanged Man has showed up for me A LOT lately. It’s been my coping theme song for 2020.
The truth is, most of us have experienced great transition and loss:
- Loved ones or friends that may have passed due to Covid.
- Job, income.
- Routine and HOW we work.
- School and managing educational needs.
- Social gatherings: birthdays, weddings, funerals, births.
- Political chaos (fortunately we can breathe a little better now)
And this list doesn’t include the “NORMAL” life stressors like divorce, non-Covid deaths, accidents, etc.!
Despite the grief and change that I’ve personally experienced, I’ve managed to find peace in surrender for the most part. I’m not perfect, and I have my moments, but what I am NOT is a giant emotional stress-ball.
And this is extremely helpful when it comes to making sound, conscious decisions regardless of whatever surrounds me.
Before I talk about HOW I find peace in times of loss, I want to define what I mean by surrender.
Surrender Doesn’t Mean Helplessness
I am NOT talking about helplessness and victimization.
It’s not healthy (nor in the Universe’s plan for us) to operate from a place of “giving up on life” and allowing others to make all our decisions for us.
That’s not surrendering. That’s being helpless and hopeless.
Surrender actually means understanding what is in your control and what isn’t.
And not banging your head against a wall trying to make things go YOUR way. The Serenity prayer sums this up nicely…
"Spirit, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference."
When we try to force things to comply with our way of thinking, believing, and acting, it creates tremendous stress, emotional upset, and struggle.
So you essentially have a choice - to attempt to control and get all distressed about it or go with the flow, whatever that looks like.
The Universe has a divine plan. And that plan isn’t always OUR plan. So here’s a rundown of how I maintain a sense of peace even during times of loss and struggle.
How I Find Peace In Times Of Loss and Struggle
#1 - Every morning, I mean EVERY morning, I have coffee with the Universe and foster my relationship with Spirit and my higher self.
This sets me up to make better decisions throughout the day because I am grounded and connected to my inner wisdom. (Check out my Morning Magic course if you want to start your day out this way too!)
#2 - When I find myself becoming upset or stressed, I relax my body and say the serenity prayer or a version like it to remind myself to surrender.
I then offer my problem up to the Universe to support me in navigating whatever it is as peacefully as possible.
I LOVE the relax and release technique. I actually got this from Michael Singer who wrote the book, "The Untethered Soul". (A great read if you haven’t read it yet.)
Relaxing and releasing works, and it’s not a coincidence that yoga teachers tell their students to relax and breathe into any tension they feel in their bodies.
#3 - And finally, I don’t question my beliefs around allowing the Universe / God / Divine Energy (whatever you want to call it) to lead.
Personally, I find it stressful to operate from a place of hustle, obsessive goal setting, and the ego’s need to achieve, do more, and BE better. How exhausting!
There will always be others preaching the hustle, or that you need to achieve a certain level of something to be seen as successful.
Hey, if it works for them, great. But I’ve found that this doesn’t work for me.
I would much rather create from a place of intuition and divine inspiration than from someone else’s “should’s” and “need to’s”.
It’s important to know yourself and be solid in what you believe and value.
So that’s really it. Three “steps” I guess you can say. Try one, try them all. See what can instill a bit more peace into your life.
P.S. - Want to do more surrendering and less struggling? Download my FREE Surrender Guide.
Also, don’t forget to check out my Morning Magic course if you are interested in establishing your own coffee with the Universe practice.